{"id":5883,"date":"2017-05-16T15:24:51","date_gmt":"2017-05-16T04:24:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/deadreal.com.au\/dead_things\/?p=5883"},"modified":"2022-03-24T15:33:59","modified_gmt":"2022-03-24T04:33:59","slug":"dead-armchair-no-28","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/deadreal.com.au\/dead_things\/dead-armchair-no-28\/","title":{"rendered":"Dead armchair No. 28"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"another<\/a><\/p>\n

When the two of you are sitting there just minding your own business and one of you feels a presence \u2013 maybe you are alerted by a slight sound or there\u2019s a fragrance in the air, or perhaps it\u2019s just a sixth sense that something isn\u2019t right \u2013 so you swing around and there they are, the blue bins creeping up on you again. Lucky you put that wrought iron gate in place to stop them. I bet they weren\u2019t expecting that.<\/p>\n

But really, why can\u2019t they leave you alone? It\u2019s not as if you have anything they could want. Nothing to give them. Maybe it\u2019s just company they seek. That primal instinct to bunch together like cows in a paddock or starlings at dusk. In which case, why aren\u2019t they satisfied with their own company instead of always foisting themselves on you? I guess we\u2019ll never know.<\/p>\n

It sounds a bit petty \u2013 no doubt they are lovely bins \u2013 but why can\u2019t you have just a few moments to yourselves without those bins constantly looking over your wingbacks? Is it too much to ask? Soon enough \u2013 too soon! \u2013 you\u2019ll be gone, transported to that special place reserved for stripy green rolled arm armchairs that have seen better days, but in the meantime it would be nice – no, it would be lovely<\/em> – if you could just be left alone in peace for a minute or two to gather your thoughts, just the two of you. You don\u2019t even have to say anything to each other, not after all this time \u2013 what is there left to say? It\u2019s enough just to sit there, like old times, reliving fading memories of indoor days.<\/p>\n

Oh yes, those were the days. You had purpose then, a position in life. You knew where you were and what you were doing. And people respected you for it, thought you were useful, turned to you in their hour of need. You did good work. No one can deny that.<\/p>\n

Ah well, no point in thinking about all that is there? Besides, the moment\u2019s gone now, ruined by those bloody bins. Not much you can do about it except sit there and take it. That\u2019s all you\u2019re good for these days. Sitting there. Waiting. Minding your own business.<\/p>\n

Find more dead armchairs here<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When the two of you are sitting there just minding your own business and one of you feels a presence \u2013 maybe you are alerted by a slight sound or there\u2019s a fragrance in the air, or perhaps it\u2019s just a sixth sense that something isn\u2019t right \u2013 so you swing around and there they […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5884,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"two_page_speed":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[45],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-5883","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","6":"hentry","7":"category-new-rubbish","9":"post-with-thumbnail","10":"post-with-thumbnail-icon"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/deadreal.com.au\/dead_things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5883","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/deadreal.com.au\/dead_things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/deadreal.com.au\/dead_things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deadreal.com.au\/dead_things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deadreal.com.au\/dead_things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5883"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/deadreal.com.au\/dead_things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5883\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5887,"href":"https:\/\/deadreal.com.au\/dead_things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5883\/revisions\/5887"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deadreal.com.au\/dead_things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5884"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/deadreal.com.au\/dead_things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5883"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deadreal.com.au\/dead_things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5883"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deadreal.com.au\/dead_things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5883"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}